Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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