he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
