There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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