I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I want to fling myself into the sun
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
