hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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