We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize