I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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