guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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