I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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