I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he puts the penis in happiness.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
soo... how was my night?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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