i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
