He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
