Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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