I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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