your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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