I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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