Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize