I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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