We named our party play list daddy issues
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
