You made me cry and you don't even care
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
