Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
