i think my mom watched the whole time
meet me or not, i'm out of control
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
there is another microwave in the elevator.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
