Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your penis caused this!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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