i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
