you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
