I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
