that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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