Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
