Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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