mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
