you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
