Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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