Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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