Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize