problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
