your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
