Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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