Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
