Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
