i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
