what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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