conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
