Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
