i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
