I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
