I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
