there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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