I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
