I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
