Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
