how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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