I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
