her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
