Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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