quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
