I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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