4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
