Buhtt sex?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
