Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
