someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
