Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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