She went from zero to smokin in five shots
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
