oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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