I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
