I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
