Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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