she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
